fake rolexes, maxin' and relaxin'

i have trouble sleeping because i only want to be with you. lately all i listen to is india arie, maxwell, jon b, norah jones, and j holiday. im soo simpy. i like it. its an adventure. im a little nervous about college b/c i havent gotten any letters well i didnt submit the fee lol so maybe thats it. there are some changes: no more blackberry :( he was missing a p and the connection was slow, so we parted ways :(

yellow skies, xo dani

be careful what you wish for

happiness is a funny thing,

there are so many things in life you think will make you happy and they don't

people don't make you happy,

things don't make you happy,

experiences don't make you happy

and recently i've learned nothing makes me really happy.

i am either extremely passive or overwhelmed with anger,

i am a prisoner of my own words.

i can't speak, i only think

my thoughts consume me

i am not happy, i am merely existing because its the only thing in my life that is constant

people leave, situations change, seasons fade

only myself, my thoughts and God remain.

sometimes i fear even he'll leave me.

im apprehensive of everything i voice and think

im policing myself: insanity

i dont want this anymore

i have everything i've ever wanted

and i don't know who i am anymore

i've lost myself in my thoughts

i cannot sleep at night

i cannot stay awake in the day

pray this feeling fades

being angry doesnt work, neither does acting as if im happy

your booty might be bigger, but i still can pull yo nigga- erykah badu

peace and blessing manifest with every lesson learn. - erykah badu
so there's this guy.... (nothing new here)

i mean isn't there always a guy in a girl's life

but there's something i can't put my finger on about this guy.

i always found him attractive but never took it beyond that until now

i did not realize the ramifications of being involved with him until i began building enemies simply by association with him

but i cannot stop my fascination with him

im drawn to him, i yearn to know more

maybe his mystery is his allure

i can't figure it out

it's more than sexual, emotional, or ascetics

i like his scent, touch, kiss and how his fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between mine

the twinkle in his eye when i say something sweet

it's getting rather deep.

i gave him apart of me

and i want to run

i gave him my love and im afraid

not because he is a bad guy or i feel i've made a mistake

im afraid because he is such a good guy

see, i suffer from philophobia: the fear of love, loving or being in love

it has increased since my father received his wings

now what am i supposed to do when i want him in my world and everything in my body tells me to run from him b/c of messed up things i've encountered.

im faced with a proposal, heart ache and this dream of love i want so much i can touch

strumming my pain with his fingers

love is, above all, the gift of one's self

life is moving too fast, im not hurt or upset by that just indifferent to be exact
i have no idea how to feel. i want to scream, press fast forward and be done with this stage of my life, but it cant happen like that. i dont feel alone i feel numb, nothing matters too much, emotions are a rarity. too much has happened to me. i care maybe too much that i have conditioned myself to pain that it doesnt hurt anymore.

fear of flying- mya

smitten, stoned, shook
taken,thrown,took
my heart is yours
and i have no desire to withdrawal
my love is yours
i am ready to fall
madly, passionately, heels over head
in love with you.

you complete me
simply take my mind to new lands
and my soul to new heights




no words have spoken to my soul like the ones your mouth posses, forms and craves
so sweetly, perfectly, strumming the strings of my heart
playing all the right notes, the song I thought no one would ever know


I've fallen, too fast perhaps, but love is love no questing that

loosing my balance-j. cole

"Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along."- taaj abdul

(painting above: "Girl defending herself from Cupid's arrow") I am this girl; this painting speaks to my soul's heart.

today I was told when you wait on God no time is lost.

today I was told when you ignore a guy he likes you more.

today I was told love doesn't hurt.

today I was told I'm a good person.

today was a good day

quest: love

my mind raced as my feet paced

in love with lust, fast times and passion

infactuated with the feeling of kisses as soft as lace

to fall in love would be tragic

a tragedy thats captured me in franctic anticipation

its bound to happen

yet im waiting

like an accident i knew would take place

cant stop it,

cant wait,

cant shake it,

too late.

i loose thoughts in his eyes

kiss sweeter than the sunrise

the look he throws me from the cornor of his eyes

reassures that he's all mine

in his arms i die

in his lap is where i reside

on his mind is my home

my thoughts my roam and my eyes may wonder

despite your advances i am his alone.

heart throb takes a backseat to being loved .

think happy thoughts

i am in love

life has opened up to me

each day holds lessons of beauty

i believe in chole

i had theee most amazing tuesday a girl could dream of (:

i woke up ON TIME lol
i got to class ON TIME (:
i hate QUAKER RICE CAKE (cheddar)
did my cheery yet assertive voive on announcements (:
had a lunch date at chipotle with yemisi chole aribo! i have no idea what took us so long to become bestfriends. we have the most amazing talks.
i figure out my FEELINGS lol
i picked my top two colleges
found a new favorite song: i need a u- letoya luckett
life is but a dream and i dont want to wake up (:

dear summer,

this is my last day of summer. I start SENIOR year tomorrow. this summer had amzing highs and deadly lows. to say the least i grew into myself this summer. im excited and anxious all at the same time. (: wish me luck. one corny joke before i go: now that im a senior do i get a discount at denny's? lol

lights please

i don't regret giving you that gift.
it wasn't romantic by any means,
i was never in love with you but more or less obsessed with we
and what we could be. the vision of us haunted me in dreams.
as i laid beneath you and shared your air,
my first thought was "why did i come here?"
followed by "how am i getting home?"
and concluded with "duuuude, where's my phone?"
my body nor my mind belong to you,
love and sex are vastly different entities.
i just know that for the rest of my life i'll remember this
and you'll probably barley remember me.



so much for purity.

"in due time"

senior pictures were long, i hate makeup, eyelashesh, the whole nine but the pictures shall be amazing.

as of late i havent been feeling too great, its like im not myself, as if my life went from color to black and white, but i know it'll pass. sometimes those moments help us see and feel true happiness.

i contemplated deleting this blog. life is about destroying to rebuild.

everyday is another chance to get it right, whatever your it maybe.

your face will be the reason i smile

now my prayers to God are this:
God make me:

"unselfish but not blind
honest but not rude
confident but not arrogant
open but not naive
successful but not lost. "

love is the only thing my soul is searching for. 8/15/2009 (:

cool as a rain puddle

belle, mattie, slim, lucy

belle, mattie, lucy

my nigga! i love her with all my heart. i'd kill for her , chole! she will make millions and we're moving into a loft with kertny r. in nyc.

le, and chole

great friday with papa johns (:

pulling hoes since bo jackson was a raider!

i was smitten by this work of art on tuesday.

i miss usc so much. just me, rebecca and my red mango :(

her tattoo is too ill. i want a seashell actually where her gun is. this whole spread inspires me to the extreme.

this dress is my homecoming inspiration, this or an 80's prom dress. this is soo visually appealing.

"number in my phone, i'm so player, pulling hoes since bo jackson was a raider!" pac div
love those guys

ideas...

i so want to do a photo shoot like this(: I've always had a crush on shad but this ups the curiousity (: realizing this is real is harder than it seems. I'm getting this drawn permanently upon my inner arm, close to my heart. the beach is the only place i feel safe and free. it has a meaning: scallop shell represents classical, simplistic beauty and weathers the harshness of the sea while protecting its essence: the beautiful pearl.

maui wowie

these were taken when i had an i95 lol.

i look so different. My life made sense back then. i don't wish i was back there i just wish i was more prepared for now. i had no idea life would be like this. don't get me wrong im grateful. life is an adventure to say the least but its a ride.

wreckless abandonment

i've been suuuuuuper busy as of late. i have so many things to do: school, college apps, picking my top five, act, sat, asb, boys, losing friends, sorting emtions, THE DOCUMENTARY uggh the list goes on. those are a few things that keep me going (:

The Plague

I'm working on a “true-life” style documentary on the effects of cancer on today’s youth, if you would like to share your experience with cancer please send your contact info along with a brief tale of your ordeal with cancer to orange.dani@gmail.com I’m in the pre-production stages and filming begins in August. (:

vow of silence

I have decided to take a vow of silence from this day forward. I feel it is a must at this point in my life. This summer is for self evaluation and observation. I will return a grateful being full of beauty, understanding, wisdom, and a lust for life. Growth comes with patience and gratitude. See you in August.=)

no cable : creativity running free

July 2009
He said he couldn't call me his favorite b/c then I'd be comparable,
but to him I am LIFE,

• the air he struggles for in the middle of the night,
• the pillow in his prison cell,
• his every day gig,
• the woman who fulfills his dreams of having kids.

Please understand this came from the lips of the man that sets my soul ablaze

- not just my ego running free.

As if God made my soul to unlock his.

He is a prism and I, his bright sunshine

formed to shine through him,

see his possibilities and

expose them to the earth abroad.

I love him, period.

Not just the vibrations that I create to voice that thought.

I love him and all his ways,

more than a child love field trip days.

He is mine:that's all I need to know.

Here's my dissertation I have succeeded in life.

I can cross over freely with the lottery chance of being his wife, or even his mistress

I'd break 1000 hearts for that sweet kiss.

As I lay up beneath him with no makeup and I breathe his air all I can fathom is why can't life always be this fair,

why can't sunshine always be this sweet, why can't grass always be this green?

Then I realize he isn't my divine intervention he is just merely a prism God created for me to see my soul through. For me to forsake my love is the only way I can charter new heights and blossom as flower worthy of God's sight. Until I let you go, Iam incomplete

this is when i pondered: maybe God is a "her." - orange.dani

the burnt orange state

bumper sticker or work of a free speech activist? "kinky for governor ... why the HELL not?"

hey there, handsome

home sweet home. the traffic jams, the weather, the SMOG lol. how i have missed thee Los Angeles, California: home.

when doves cry

today i went to the beach all by my lonesome. i like it that way. the sun shined for me today. (: i got my first taste of 5 o'clock traffic . HORRID. i hate it. i miss my dad and today i got tons of clarity of mind. i deserve the best and will obtain that . tomorrow im headed to the grove with jemani. (: im excited.

if i had wings i'd fly.

p.s: i miss you dad.

he left and received his wings.

we fought. we loved. we cried together. and it hasnt set it. my daddy is gone. i've tried to erase the pain and nothing works. he died june 8th: 4 hours after out last visit. he waited to see me. all I want to do is make him proud. I love him . bye daddy, love your daughter, danielle.

coldest nigga of all time

My dad. Rest in peace herb d. Orange my daddy I love you more than anything. I miss you like an artist misses their muse. The house is so quiet without you. Keep the knuckle heads away lol. Love your daughter danielle (: p.s I get my lisence friday lol and I'm driving the caddy (:

sorry if my mouth is slick.. but i really so mean well.

today i was inspired by this. rough days ahead. only thing keeping me alive : my dreams.

closure.

its funny how you picture things to come and they stay with you. I always see myself graduating from serra and in the stands as i walk across the stage I see my mom, my sisters and my cousins but never my dad. this wknd how taught me why: my dad has cancer of the plasma cells and is currently experienceing kidney failure among other things. to the point: he's dying. i dont mean to say it so blunt but thats the only way i can rationalize it in my head. dont get me wrong i love him but i never see him as im envision the future, now i see that he won't be there and thats why i dont see him. his illness inspires me to get a tattoo i always wanted but now i see it's mandatory. my dad and i dont have the greatest realtionship, but he's still my dad, my hero, the main dude in my life: always and forever. in some weird way i feel that his death will bring us (him and i) closer. i've matured alot over the past 3 wks since his stay in the hospital. now im like my mom's right hand and my younger sister's protector. the only thing that will change is my view of guys and the standard i uphold. the only two songs i keep playing are: roses- kanye west and coldest winter- kanye west. i guess its different when you loose a parent. im just glad we made peace before he's gone and i just hope i make him proud.

sweetest thing :)

him:" danielle your the pillow in my prison cell .. my little piece of comfort in this world" (:

abstract love

that guy is blu he is amazing

Auto Response from NaturlBorn Play (8:03:55 PM): danielle alyssa-anita orange has been one of my closest and dearest friends since I was 14 , we have fell out several times but as tru friendships usually do we have reconcilled and I treasure her friendship and opinion dearly !

my hunny comes home tomorrow and since his departure i have developed a hatred toward barcelona for taking him for so long lol but while he was gone my heart grew fonder and i wrote this: " and more then yesterday I'm in love with tomorrow for tomorrow brings our hearts closer to beating as one, sharing one rhythm, on hope and one dream" i really like him (: but dont tell him (:

mixtapes:

Dat KiD from Cleveland - Kid Cudi

The [Abstract] Best - J PERIOD

Gone Fishing- The Cool Kids

Pacc Man- Rich Boy

The Skeme of things 2 - Skeme the Duke

Chester French

all good just listen with open ears

check it out :

talesofagroupie.blogspot.com

tres de mayo

her style is impeccable. helloloverr.blogspot.com that party last night lol asher roth moment. listening to old jeezy "trap or die" life is good