happiness is a funny thing,
there are so many things in life you think will make you happy and they don't
people don't make you happy,
things don't make you happy,
experiences don't make you happy
and recently i've learned nothing makes me really happy.
i am either extremely passive or overwhelmed with anger,
i am a prisoner of my own words.
i can't speak, i only think
my thoughts consume me
i am not happy, i am merely existing because its the only thing in my life that is constant
people leave, situations change, seasons fade
only myself, my thoughts and God remain.
sometimes i fear even he'll leave me.
im apprehensive of everything i voice and think
im policing myself: insanity
i dont want this anymore
i have everything i've ever wanted
and i don't know who i am anymore
i've lost myself in my thoughts
i cannot sleep at night
i cannot stay awake in the day
pray this feeling fades
being angry doesnt work, neither does acting as if im happy
