bad, worst, worse

since i can remember, i dreamed of wearing a beautiful gown, hoping in a beautiful car equipped with a dashingly handsome date who loved me deeply. he would place an amazing corsage on my wrist and we would arrive to prom and dance the night away.

since i was a senior in hs, i knew this dream was intangible. i wouldn't hop in a car with a dashingly handsome so and so. i would regretfully get into an oversized suv full of people i will not even speak to in 5 years. i'll have a picture of a night that was all hype and i probably didn't enjoy. i have the dashing date and the dress but everything else is a bust. as of this moment. (7:30 pm monday april 19 2010) i do not want to attend prom. it isnt my dream anymore.

one step forward. 10 steps back.

this sucks, its pretty devastating. when your dream dies its like being dumped by someone you were in love with. my mom really wants me to go but i will be just miserable.

people say things could always get worse: THIS IS WORSE CASE SCENARIO.

main squeeze

like a star- corrine bailey rae

this sums up my emotions to a tee.

take it from there - justin timberlake

co-pilot

(:

slim fit

eye candy

these girls so ashanti.. thats foolish

alea and I (:

blueberry

i got in to the USC! not as excited as i would've been a year ago, but hey. I'm going to the cemetery to show my daddy. I bet he's in heaven bragging about me! Thats all I want!

favorite

im stuck on the new mixtape. well done

mr. kennedy. (:

next year (:

I'm OFFICIALLY A

LOYOLA MARYMOUNT UNIVERSITY STUDENT!

GOD LISTENS. THIS IS MY DREAM COME TRUE.

GO LIONS!

ctrl atl delete

i wish i was a bird, then i could fly...

frustrated

everything is bothering me.

im enduirng a splitting headache

im in anxious anticipation for my college acceptance.

my life , as i know and understand it, is about to change in less than 3 months.

i feel as if no one understands.

i need sleep

i cant think

one deep breath and a shower is calling

life

truth

finally

"above all, love is the gift of oneself."

(the tattoo is the phrase in arabic.)

love is the most beautiful feeling a being can attain. to love someone means to sacrifice your own happiness, and ultimately yourself entirely for the betterment and happiness of your beloved. love is believing that person is beautiful when they don't believe in themselves.

i am in love; pure, authentic love. if you ever find some one you love, and they love you back, bask in the love and give it your all, even if its for two months , two years or two hours, love is the most gratifying feeling i've eve experienced.

formerly known as "nigga"

today at serra high, Young Black Scholars, put on the annual Black History program. I was Maya Angelou :D, We played a poem by jason curry entitled "Niggers, Niggas, Niggerz." This poem caused an uproar today. Some wowed to never say the word again, while others defended the word as if it were a right to say it. i really dont have too many thoughts on it. if you say it you do but realize what your doing in saying it. nigga or nigger are the same word with the same word and connotation. People of other races view nigga as a word to express ignorance, inferiority and laziness, even blacks say "nigga moment". my friend pointed out to me that in the world there are men and women and niggas and bitches. im definitely not a bitch (bad, bomb, or anything of that nature lol) nor a nigga(your nigga, his nigga w/e) or the connotation that comes along with either word.

just think about it before you shout nigga

wounded.

i'm hurt.

i felt today you didnt listen to me

im afraid

i have no clue where this is going

i'm bruised.

i have to see the evidence of your mistake

i'm down

i have my head low, eye closed, mouth SHUT.

i'm slowly growing to HATE.

correction

paula patton-thicke is the only OTHER woman i envy. she is breathtaking.

lonely.

this song brought me through the toughest time in my life, summer 2009. i lost my father, my best friend and the guy i thought i loved. for those reasons alone kanye west is my favorite artist. 808's and heartbreak in its entirety was a work of art.

weak.

im tired of this girl.

wrong.

hands down, this has to be in the top five best kanye songs. riahnna looks gorgeous and i love the lyrics.

awesome.

best

fancy!

BEAST

this killer is Perry H. Winkle Orange

my vicious killer of a dog.

this is the face of DANGER.

ask

outcast

her off-beat style is refreshing, i just dislike how many people have jumped on the "weird, cooky" bandwagon.

lady gaga is a freak of nature; she commands your attention while maintaining a mysterious beauty.

peerless: superior, incomparable.

keri hilson

2010 grammys

mouth wide open. gasps. she's beautiful, classic and sexy.

awe-inspiring

zoe isabella kravitz : the only woman i envy. she is gorgeous, stunning and walks to the beat of her own drum. she inspires me, her band: elevator fight, is awesome and she doesn't care what people think. i love her.

her body smooth, no tattoos

leukemia and lymphoma

http://pages.teamintraining.org/snv/ambbr10/kmilne

diary

distance not being a factor

don’t shed any light on my tears just contemplate the fears of a former cheater whose ready.... ready to celebrate years being prisoner to your love and.

surviving on the thought of real honest can’t sleep at night un comparable metaphors like kanye common and lupe mixed love for the first time real quick. so please don’t let me down because if you saw what i see in your mirror each day you would never wear a frown on your face. one look just blows me away & i just can’t stop so don’t stop being the high light of my day :)

i love you. i probably shouldn't but i do.

your miles away from me, from us from we.

this is the path you chose.

this path lead to silent cries, wallowing and woes

i wish i never loved you,

i wish you were a fad

i hate everything you've become

i hate how you've infiltrated my mind, my heart and my soul

im in love with a man who believes im more precious than gold

you persist to act hot and cold

you're child you say i should bear

im only seventeen

too naive to become a mother and a wife

with you love is a losing game.

friendship

Friendship 9/21/09

It’s hard for me to stay friends with people for very long. I have a thing about loyalty. I have high expectation and sometimes I just want to be left alone. Things that many people have a rough time handling

I have a friend that needs, on the border of craves, attention in any form from anyone who will pay attention. I have no clue what do to with that relationship at all. I don’t enjoy it.

I have a friend how has made me question our friendship due to the lack of loyalty and respect. I’m open with my feelings towards this friendship.

i have a friend i can love, hold and kiss. this friend hurt me and sometimes i cannot trust them. one infidelity changes everything, but to separate myself would be tragic.

I have a friend who gets me, gives me space and doesn’t make me question anything. that friend is God.

ever want to be heard in a noisy room?

whisper, the world will WANT to listen to every word you say.

BIG sean

interesting

i read an article about interracial dating and this quote had a huge impact on me

" white women see being submissive or catering to their men as empower, while black women view questioning their men empowering."

this is very true, at least the way i see it.

white women or even women of other races view catering to their man as being fully a woman and taking her role.

black women, or at least from my experience, are taught, or rather shown that questioning their man is what your SUPPOSED to do. many black girls do not have no male figure or have a distant male figure and are taught, by word or example, they do not need a man for anything or to question their men.

in my opinion questioning a man is stupid and pointless. he is still going to do what he wanted to no he has more of a motive.

what i fail to understand is why black women think this is okay. i don't agree that a man makes a woman happy but if you're in love you're bound to be happier. many women sabotage their relationships by questioning their men.

does this statement explain the low rates of marriage in black women?

if this statement is true than I'm definitely not black. i enjoy catering to whomever i'm with. a relationship should be a sigh of relief from hard day not another concern or headache.

i guess im just different. =/

if i fall in love..

i'm struggling with the concept of falling in love. i have strong feelings for someone, i cant stop thinking about him, i cant stand to be away from him for more than 3 days. i like the way he smells, holds me, looks at me, smiles, talks, walks, and thinks. i even like how he complains. here's the problem: everything about a relationship scares me. I'm not sure that i am ready for what a relationship requires, i'm not good at working hard for something that may hurt me. schools almost over and in 6 months i have no clue where im going to school, or if this will last. do i just go with the flow, and be terrified of what happens next or do i say "lets just be friends" and crush his heart and mine too. my heart is racing, do i work hard for love or do i just give up. i don't want him to think i'm crazy. this is the part in a relationship where i do off and start dating other people. i can't do that to him. i've fallen in love and now im scared.

truth

http://dirtylittlestylewhore.tumblr.com